Q- I can’t seem to get over this feeling of complete disappointment and betrayal that I even have a diagnosis of infertility. How can I understand and deal with these feelings? Counselor’s response- It is normal to feel this way. Let’s try to understand these feelings in the context of life plans or expectations. We have many expectations about life…. the way it is “supposed to be”. We imagine that we will grow up, fall in love and have children as part of our life’s journey. When our reality does not meet our expectations, our emotional response can be overwhelming. Deviation from our expectations can result in irrational thoughts that somehow we have failed or fallen short of who we had wanted to become. You are experiencing feelings of grief related to your diagnosis and your loss of a life expectation. Remember, there is no right way to grieve.
Many people experiencing infertility can relate to these feelings. It is vital to cope with these feelings and not ignore them. Talk, journal and seek out the support of people who can relate to this emotional crisis. Obtain additional information on the topic and begin to explore all of your options and alternatives. Most important of all, remember you are not alone.
Cristina Treadway, LMHC